I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Terrible idea I love it
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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