Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize