Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
