is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
