I got chris browned last night
I think my vagina is haunted
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
