i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He has the fingertips of a God
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