Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize