Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
