Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
