Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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