it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
