No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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