Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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