think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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