I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
