escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
