And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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