Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
