I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize