69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
