I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
