Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
