How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
