I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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