To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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