The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
