I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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