we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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