I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
