oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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