Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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