I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize