I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
