Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
