I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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