If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
don't judge my taste in strippers
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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