Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
