So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
