They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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