I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
