party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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