it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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