Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
