I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
