I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
