Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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