if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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