you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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