There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
