Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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