I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
