But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Randomize
