Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
