White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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