just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
