scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize