$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
