No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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