i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It's like God shit irony all over that family
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
