I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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