You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
