I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
