My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
