You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just had sex on a roof
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
