You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
